


Keep You Near

by AkikoFumi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Dog Tags, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, IronFalcon - Freeform, M/M, Sam Wilson Feels, Tony Stark Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 06:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7302394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkikoFumi/pseuds/AkikoFumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Sam tries to give Tony his dog tags - and the one time he actually does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep You Near

**Author's Note:**

  * For [syriala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/gifts).



> [syriala](http://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala) really, you don't know what you started when you dragged me into this pairing :'D This is for you<3




The first time Sam thinks about giving Tony his dog tags is weeks after Riley died. Once he has managed to work through the shock, the guilt and the nightmares, Sam starts thinking about how much he cares for Tony. How much he _loves_ him.

They haven’t even been together for long, but Sam already thinks that maybe Tony will be his “forever”.

He is in bed with Tony when the thought crosses his mind and Sam lifts one hand, carefully running his fingers over the silver chain that secures the dog tags around his neck. His dark eyes slide over Tony’s sleeping form, half curled up on top of Sam, with his head rested on Sam’s chest.

He brings up his other hand, gently running it through the dark curls and presses a kiss to the crown of Tony’s head. Sam thinks about it. How Tony would look with Sam’s dog tags around his neck, always having a part of Sam with him.

Being the person Sam can come _home_ to.

But their relationship is still so new and fragile, they are still only getting to know each other, so Sam dismisses the thought.

 

 




When Tony returns from Afghanistan, Sam doesn’t think he will ever let him go again. He barely survives the first days where Tony jumps at everything, where he tries to get used to his life again after three months of captivity.

Tony can’t stand being touched at first, even though Sam is dying to wrap his lover into his arms, hold him close and protect him from the world.

Once Tony _does_ allow it, Sam clings to him like an octopus, never _quite_ letting go. He has almost lost his boyfriend and he’s been powerless, unable to do anything about it. He hadn’t even been allowed to go out with Colonel Rhodes to look for Tony, had been damned to sit in an empty house and wait.

Sam buries his face in Tony’s neck, cuddles a little closer. They’re sitting on the bed for once, curled up against each other, seeking comfort in being so close. He tries not to think about the fact that he’ll have to leave soon for another tour to Afghanistan. He tries not to think about going back to the very country where his lover got captured and tortured.

He tries not to think about having to leave Tony alone.

Sam _does_ think about the dog tags. He could give them to Tony as a gift before he leaves; tell him to keep them, to think of him while he’s gone.

But then he gets distracted, they both do, and doesn’t get the chance to do it.

 

 




Sam barely keeps himself from getting angry once he finds out about the whole Palladium poisoning. He can understand Tony’s reasons to keep it, or at least he _tries_ to. What does it mean that Tony didn’t tell him he was _dying_? They have been together for a few years now, are still so much in love. Sam thought this meant trusting each other.

But apparently, being together for this long doesn’t automatically guarantees to find out about everything that is going on in Tony Stark’s life.

Sam’s misery over Tony having kept this from him is overshadowed though by the overwhelming _relief_ he feels. He could have lost Tony, _again_ could have lost him while being unable to _do_ anything against it.

He’s been so close to losing the love of his life (as cheesy as that sounds, Sam is sure that Tony is exactly that) and the realization hits him like a brick.

Sam hugs Tony tighter to his chest, closing his eyes. He can feel his lover tracing patterns over his chest and then Tony speaks up, voice soft and careful.

“Don’t be angry with me”, he says and he sounds so _scared_ , it breaks Sam’s heart. He tightens his hold, presses a kiss into the dark locks and whispers back: “I’m not, Tony. Not ever. I’m glad you’re safe now.”

To emphasize his words, Sam carefully presses his hand over the ARC reactor, feeling it vibrating ever so softly under his skin. Involuntarily, he thinks about his dog tags clinking against the glass case covering the reactor, thinks about them dangling from Tony’s neck when he bends forward.

(He doesn’t give them to Tony.)

 




Like so many other Americans, Sam learns about the battle of New York from the news. He’s basically glued to the TV once he realizes it’s Tony, _his Tony_ , fighting aliens alongside a bunch of superheroes.

He thinks he stops breathing when the reporters zoom in on a _nuke_ headed for New York – and then fear claws coldly at his heart, threatening to crush it when he sees the sleek red-and-gold armor steering the deadly missile into the wormhole.

Sam is convinced Tony is dead. The TV feed cuts off as well and he’s lost; too shocked to realize what just happened, that this time for sure, he has _lost_ Tony and all he was doing was _watching-_

Thankfully, before Sam can work himself into a full-blown panic attack, his phone rings. It’s not an number he knows, but he answers the call in a heartbeat; voice thin and broken when he says his name.

“Sammy.”

Tony sounds breathless but it doesn’t matter. The only thing Sam can think of the second he hears the nickname is _Tony is alive, he made it, I haven’t lost him, he is still here-_ And he doesn’t even try to hold back the sob that forces its way out of his throat.

He doesn’t care that he’s crying, shaking with relief and only focuses on Tony, Tony, _Tony._

“I’m here, sweetheart”, he hears his lover through the speaker. Tony sounds just as shaken, just as broken as Sam feels. “I’m here. I made it. I’ll come back as soon as I can, I-”

Sam doesn’t pay much attention to _what_ exactly Tony’s saying, just listens to the sound of his voice and lets it wash over him until his heartbeat slows.

 _This time for sure_ , he thinks. _This time, I’ll give him my dog tags. I want him to have them_.

But he doesn’t do it; Killian and AIM and Extremis happen all too soon after and in the whirlwind of the events, Sam never gets the chance to give Tony the tags.

 




The thought of his dog tags around Tony’s neck never really leaves Sam’s mind anymore. He tries to wait for a good opportunity but somehow it’s always interrupted.

With Tony also currently living full-time in New York and Sam here in Washington, the amount of time they can spend together is precious and rare. Maybe, Sam thinks, maybe he can take a few days off from work and spontaneously visit Tony; if only to finally see his lover in the flesh again and steal some kisses.

He’s actually pretty desperate for it and makes a mental note to check some flights once he’s back from his run, when no one else but _Captain America himself_ steps into Sam’s life. What starts out as some friendly banter and teasing soon turns into a life-endangering mission Sam wasn’t prepared for, but of course he tags along.

How could he not? Not enough that Steve Rogers is a living legend (and also an absolute troll) but he is _also_ one of the people who fought alongside Tony during New York. Sam feels like he owes him his help.

It almost costs Steve’s life, almost costs _Sam’s_ life and Tony yells at him later, once everything is done and cleared up.

Tony hugs him close and kisses him with the same kind of despair that Sam has felt so many times in the past and he scolds him, tells Sam to “ _never scare me like this again, I thought my heart would stop when you jumped out of the fucking window-“_ because of course Tony monitored everything, how else did Sam think they got the wings so easily?

Sam doesn’t think about the wings at _all_ ; his mind is occupied by the renewed realization of how much he actually loves Tony and that he really, truly, wants to spend the rest of his life with him.

His fingers run over the dog tags, almost reaching the clasp to undo them – but of _course_ they get interrupted by a phone call and Tony has to excuse himself.

 

 

+1

Surprisingly enough, they are in _bed_ when Sam manages to make his plan come true.

Tony is sprawled out over Sam’s chest, still panting harshly from their previous activity and Sam can’t help but to smile, running his fingers through sweat-slicked hair. It’s so utterly domestic and normal, it takes his breath away.

He really wants this. Wants to have this normalcy with Tony. Sam has been thinking a lot lately; not just about the tags but about their relationship in general. Six years is quite a bit of time to be in a stable relationship and Sam thinks they could be ready for more.

He’s been thinking about proposing to Tony and there is even a ring already, well-hidden in the depths of Sam’s apartment.

Tony shifts a little, interrupting Sam’s thoughts. He smiles down at his boyfriend, traces his fingers over the goatee and further down along Tony’s collarbone.

“You know”, Sam begins lowly, looking into his lover’s eyes. “I’ve wanted to give you something. Wanted to for a while, but I never actually got the chance to really do it. Something always interrupted…”

Tony looks at him, eyes still a little dark with lust but there’s a spark of curiosity brightening them. “What’s that?”, he wants to know. He smiles as well and it’s so endearing that Sam can’t help but kiss that smile.

“Back then, in the war, the soldiers would give something they hold dear to the person they loved. Nowadays it’s a bit… old-fashioned, I think, but…”

Sam reaches for the silver chain and unclasps it. “I always wanted you to have them. I’ve- I’ve tried to give them to you for a while now and it never happened.” He doesn’t list off the many times he thought Tony was dead or would die without ever having worn them; without ever having taken this part of Sam with him.

He places them around Tony’s neck now and secures them; and just like he’s always imagined it, the tags clink gently against the reactor, a sound Sam knows he will love forever.

“Sam-” Tony closes his fingers around the tags and looks up to him, suddenly looking more vulnerable than Sam has seen him in a long while.

He kisses Tony, long and slow and gentle. “I want you to keep them”, Sam whispers against his lover’s lips. “You’ve been my home for a while now, Tony. And it means a lot to me to know that you have them.”

Tony’s eyes are huge and brown, shimmering suspiciously wet when he takes the tags and looks at them, fingers running carefully over the engraved letters. Sam hugs him closer, skin pressed to skin and everything feels so right, so perfect, that he knows he made the right decision.

“I love you, Tony”, he murmurs into Tony’s hair and pretends he doesn’t hear the little sob from his lover in return.

“Love you too, Sam. So, so much.”


End file.
